There's just something different about Burger King's chicken sandwich. First of all, it's long. It's more hot-dog in length rather than the customary circular or square of other restaurants. Second, while it is breaded, it doesn't have an overabundance of breading. I attribute this to the perfectly flat and shapeless formation of the patty from chicken meal which I'm sure is made from beaks, elbows, butts and other parts of the chicken. There is no muscleculture or unique shapes for that batter to get caught in, causing crunchy bits of breading that, while they can be tasty, can also jab the roof of your mouth like the spear of a roman soldier. And who wants a roman soldier in your sammich? I certainly do not.
BK's chicken sammich is succulent. Sure it's fatty. It's probably more fatty than a burger, actually, but when you're looking for fast food, it's all about the taste, right? Today I'm enjoying about my 3rd sammich in the last 3-4 years. I can hear you asking now "But Chas, if you likea da sammich, why you have so few?" Good question. The answer: BK sucks.
Well, at least the BKs in Colorado Springs do. What are my gripes with the BKs of Colorado? I'm glad you asked. First of all, they wouldn't take credit cards for a while. What kind of major chain doesn't take credit cards today? Morons! One time I ordered and went to the window. When I got there they said "we don't take credit cards at the drive-through" They mentioned "at the drive-through" as if to say "come inside and use it!", so I asked if they took cards inside and they said they did. Frustrated, but really wanting my sandwich, I pulled out of the drive-through and went to park. I went to the cashier and told them I had an order and was here to use my credit card. The teller pointed me towards a little ATM machine and said something like "you can use that". Not wanting to pay an $18.75 fee (oh yeah, plus the $5 my bank would charge for using a off-shore atm-credit-account thingy) for my $4 sammich, I politely declined and calmly walked out. It went something like: *throws hands in air* "Fuck that!" *pushes the door hard on the way out*
A couple of times, I drove through the take-out lane and asked "Do you take credit cards?". After hearing "no". I just drove on. I even tried to call their customer service one time and got the runaround, so I just hung up. I would have left comments on their web site, but they had no way to do that.
At least once in the year or two to follow, I actually had cash and went into the store to buy a sammich. I don't know why I didn't go through the line now that I had cash. I went into the store and nobody was at the counter. I stood there and, after a couple of minutes began looking over the little warmers to see if anyone was in the back. One lady saw me, but kept working. Finally someone came up to the front, but they went to the drive-through, totally ignoring me and gave someone their order out there. I waited 5 minutes, which in fast-food time is like giving your professor 30 minutes before you leave the classroom. Frustrated (becoming a theme?) I stormed out the door, meeting a family of four on the way out. "Good luck!" I snarled at them and the mother and father looked at me and the father hesitated and said "Oh no. Bad?" I replied "Waited for 5 minutes and was completely ignored". I got some satisfaction at seeing them head back to their car as I drove away.
Now they take credit cards and their customer service is a little better, but they still need some work. Today their breakfast menu was still up at 11:15am. When I politely asked if they were serving lunch, I got a firm "yes". Since I don't have the "value meal" number memorized (thank God), I then said "Well, I'd like a chicken sandwich meal, but I don't know the number." She replied "That's a number 9". I waited for a few seconds and then said "I'd like a number 9". It appeared on the little menu monitor thing. I asked for no mayo and to add cheese. Later I found that they took the mayo, but didn't add the cheese. The fries were ridiculously hot and the sammich was great. Maybe they're working at getting it right. Too bad they didn't have their shit together years ago when I was eating fast food more than 2x/month. It's nuts that a place that is one of the top chains in the country concentrates on making those ridiculous big-plastic-headed king commerials and can't serve their food correctly.
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