DIA how I hate you.

Denver International Airport (DIA). I try to fly out of Colorado Springs Airport most of the time. Usually this is because it's more convenient, but it is also determined by cost, flight availability and time it takes for me to get up to DIA Vs. just flying from the Springs.

Last weekend I tried to fly out of DIA. The weather was bad and it took me 3 hours to get to DIA, only to find that my flight to O'Hare had been delayed and I'd miss my flight to Michigan. I was told there was nothing available and I was basically fucked. Oh, I could stay the night in the airport and try to fly out at 6:30am the next morning on standby. Uh, no.

So, today I drove to DIA. Weather was cold, but the roads were fine and I got there with plenty of time. Well, plenty of time except that the "garage" (and I use that term lightly. It is a series of roads and misused space more than an actual place to park cars) was full. I had to park in economy. Normally I don't mind this. but it was 20-something degrees and a little windy in Denver. "whatever", I think. I'll just walk a little bit. 15-minutes later, I make my way out to the most remote lot they have. I think it was Q-10 or something. I wrote it down. Suck. Now, I wore my Crocs for comfort, because taking off your shoes for security and also on the plane is essential. I hadn't planned on walking over ice for a quarter-mile to get to the fucking terminal...

+++++As I write this, "Three Amigos" is on at the hotel. I forgot how funny this is. It's like modern-day Monty Python, except with 2 of my favorite actors, Chevy Chase and Steve Martin...not to mention Martin Short.+++++

So, I managed to check in at United. Luckily I avoided the horrid lines and did auto-check, since I had no bags to check. United really sucks out of DIA. Last week they gave me no assistance and basically said "you're fucked" when I tried to tell someone I was going to miss my flight becuase of their delays.

Anyway, I made it to Security about an hour before my flight. No problem, right? Riiiight. DIA security has a progressively ass-puckering strictness about what you can and can't carry on. I'm no stranger to travel, even after the liquid ban. But, I get in the line and they are telling everyone "No gallon-sized bags for your liquids". I know about the 3oz maximum of each type of liquid. (which makes really no sense, couldn't I just use 3oz of like 15 different bottles?). I also know you put all your toiletries in a ziploc and take it (or not, if you aren't flying from DIA) out of your bag. So, the sphincter-beasts at DIA are saying that you have to put your shit in a quart-sized bag. At first I'm worried. I'm thinking "Great, so I'm going to be restricted because of the size of my bag?" It's fucked-up enough that I even have to carry all my tiny-sized shit in a ziploc. But now I have to put it in a quart bag? Fuck them. I took it out, put it with my Crocs and got through. Morons. Hey, at least I'm not the guy in the turban behind me. Hell, he didn't even get strip-searched.

After my nice little 20 minutes delay from security, I'm still OK on time.

++++pause - my room service is here!++++++

+++++That was a good fucking burger. Took about 5 minutes to eat because I was starving.+++++

So, I'm OK on time, right. I take the tram to concourse B. I find the wing that my gate is at, but I want to get lunch before, right? I go to McDonalds. They have like 5 people working, but only a couple are taking orders because....who the fuck knows? Also, the line can't fit in front of the cashiers because they have tables about 6 feet from the line. Dumb? You bet. I make my way to the counter and place my order. I hand her my debit card. "Cash only", in thickly-accented English. Then I remember I've run into this before. I just shake my head in digust and walk off, towing my carry-on and laptop bag through the horde of other dinees.

So, then I have to decide whether I want mexican or pizza. Neither (although the Cantina bar and grill at DIA is pretty good if you're there) sound good. Then I see a sign saying italian food near gat B21. I'm at gate B26, so I head to my gate. I can't find the Italian place, but I see a Quiznos. The people of Quiznos are nice and I place my order pretty quickly. I highly recommend the mesquite-grilled chicken ranch sandwich if you're around a Quiz. I get my sandwich relatively quickly. I absolutely love standing around a big group of people, all of us with nearly-identical black carry-ons trailing behind us like large square tails, trying to get past the line to get our drinks and stuff like that. Fun! So, I head to my gate. My flight is already boarding. Fuck. I put my sandwich in my bag and suck down my diet coke. I get in line because my boarding zone has already been called. DIA has managed to eat up over an hour of my time due to parking, security and a McDonalds with 1980s-age finance practice.

I get on OK. I'm in a window, which doesn't make me happy. Also, the tiny fucking plane is max capacity. I get seated with 2 Chicago guys coming back from a ski vacation. They're cool, but big ski coats fill any remaining "room" there would have been on this fucking crop-duster. But, they're nice, kinda funny, and don't really talk too much, which is fine with me.

Ah, then the plane is delayed on takeoff. God really doesn't want me in Michigan. We take off only about 10 minutes late. I figure that's OK because I have about 55-minutes of lay-over at O'Hare. After we're airborne, I gobble down half of my sandwich as quickly as I can with my elbows pinned to my side like some crab-person.

Flight goes well. The new Stephen King book "Cell" is pretty good. Nothing mind-blowing, but still good. Then the pilot comes on and says that we'll be hovering around Janesville, WS for a while because things are delayed. Oh, then the guys next to me mention all the lake-effect snow that's supposed to be in Michigan. Fuck. Ing. Fab. Youlose.

We're delayed about 10 minutes, and I get on the ground about 25 minutes prior to my flight. Oh, and it's cold in Chicago. Colder than in Denver, even. And Denver was about 15 degrees colder than (Oh good, Happy Gilmore is on now. And, I'm ashamed to admit I've never seen the whole thing) Colorado Springs. I can see my breath all the way up the concorse thing. I make it to my flight, which has already mostly boarded. I get through, no thanks to the huge (and I'm talking 300 lbs) pair of United "ladies" who grunt directions on how to get the plane. Of course it's a puddle jumper and I have to slide over ice (once again) while walking on the tarmac. Guess the Crocs will be making the trip back in my bag.

I make it to my tiny plane. The attendant on this plane is friendly in a midwestern-dame sort of way. I find a whole side (2 seats) to myself and settle in. Flight goes great. People are nice. King is good.

I land and it's colder still. Let's review. Colorado Springs has been cold. But, it's probably about 15 degrees colder in Denver. Then colder still in Chicago. On the ground in Michigan it's 18 degrees.

Having had to check my carry-on at the plane when I boarded, I ask where it will be. The guy says "end of the ramp". Uh, no it isn't. I'm wondering where it is and whether I should do the "Exit security to claim baggage". I decline to do that right away and get situated. Luckily I did this, because a guy brought the bags through a nearby door. I grabbed my bag and went to the Hertz counter. The woman there was super nice and courteous. I run out to my car and it's a brand-new Camry. It even has a couple ice-scrapers. This thing is spotless, inside and out. It has that new-car smell. Mmmmmmm. It warms up quickly and I follow well-marked signs out of the small airport. I follow great directions to the city. It's cold, but, unlike Colorado, they actually plow the snow here, so the streets are clear.

I make it to the Doubletree, even through major detours. They check me in quickly, even giving me a "welcome" bag with a warm chocolate-chip cookie and two waters. I get to my room easily. The room is really nice. It looks brand new. I'm liking Michigan. Compared to Denver, this place is first-class. I'm in my room about 10 minutes and the front desk calls "Just calling to make sure everything is satisfactory". Indeed.

I call the restaurant, not wanting to go back out, and place a to-go order. They say it'll be right up. "You're going to bring it to me?" "Absolutely, sir. It'll be ready in about 30 minutes". About 15 minutes later a knock on the door. It's someone with ice and chocolate. Ice and chocolate? Jeez. I grab my bag of ice and my two chocolates from the nice lady, embarassed I don't have any cash. 15 minutes after that, room-service arrives. It's on a huge platter. Real salt and pepper shakers. The burger is hot, not just warm, but almost too-hot to touch! Fries are good, there are all the condiments and a mint too. Nice setup for a $7 burger. This Doubletree is, so far, about 5x better than the one in Dallas. There's an outlet by the bed for my laptop. The wireless internet is free. The bathrooms are all new, not just semi-redone with a pipe sticking out the ceiling. The layout is nice and tastefully decorated. Saginaw > Dallas.

And that brings me to now. I'm full and watching Happy Gilmore. Sure I have to be at work by 6am Mountain time. But at least this place knows how to treat people. Sure, United still doesn't win any customer-service awards, but the local people are surely more kind than the wahoos in Colorado. Let's hope my chances of getting my connection on-time in Chicago are better than fair. I really don't want to spend any more time at either O'Hare or DIA than I have to. Turns out the "sticks" is more refined, or at least nicer and more put-together than those big cities. God how I dread going back through DIA. *shudder*

Ready for spring

I'm ready for spring. Hell, I'm just looking forward to the next few days in the 40s. I've been in Colorado for 10 years this month and this is the worst winter I've seen. It's been cold, gloomy and last weekend was the 5th weekend in a row with snow.

What I want is to be able to walk into the back yard barefoot and feel warm grass. I want to wear sunglasses for sun, not snow glare. I am ready for things to bloom and to see some green instead of shades of grey. I want a fucking mojito.

However, there is some color, like the sunrise today at 7am.

But I think Jax says is best here...

Things to note

1) 4 straight weeks with snow really bums me out.
b) Eating chocolate while sitting on the toilet isn't gross....just don't go cleaning your nails with your teeth while you do it.
3) The COX-2 enzyme is responsible for causing the inflammation associated with pain. Second-generation pain-relievers block this without blocking the COX-1 enzyme that helps protect the stomach lining. Ibuprofen and aspirin block both, which is why they upset the stomach sometimes. However, blocking only the COX-2 enzyme has side effects that can affect how the body's system works, including causing damage to the cardio-vascular system, sometimes resulting in death. Yet, the government is allowing patents on everything from tests that monitor enzymes in the body, to blockers of enzymes, to say nothing of gene-markers and the actual genes themselves. We're on the verge of going too far, not with our exploration of nucleic acids (dna, rna) but with the litigiousness involved in marketing these things. Not only will we continue to pay higher and higher prices for designer drugs created by patent-monopolies, but we may lose ownership of things inside our own bodies. Oh the things you learn from Michael Crichton and reading the Scientific American Journal while in the waiting room.
4) knees are ugly

McGwire snubbing

I'm now convinced that the Baseball Writers Association are comprised largely of egocentric assholes, who, having not been able to achieve the level of physical prowess as professional athletes, use their political pull to affect these players lives.

In yesterday's Hall of Fame voting for the Baseball Hall of Fame, the BWA voted in Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn, but snubbed Mark McGwire. Sure, there were a lot of other great players not voted in this year, too, but McGwire unquestionably deserves to be in there.

Their reasoning for not voting in McGwire is because of suspected steroid use. Suspected. The thing is, he refused to answer, under oathe, whether he had used these substances or not. People took this as a sign of guilt. He admitted that he used certain substances that, while they weren't banned by baseball at the time, are now.

I understand that he wasn't voted in during his first eligible year. But what I don't understand is how these "judges" can keep him out because they think he seemed like he might be guilty of using "substances". McGwire was a gentleman. He helped (is helping) numerous charitable organizations. He was a team player and his home run race with Sammy Sosa reinjuvinated the game of baseball. Tell me you're any kind of sports fan and don't remember the 98 season when he broke Roger Maris' record and finished with 70 home runs?

And, if you are convinced that he took steroids and this allowed him to hit all those home-runs, do you think that he took steroids his whole career? Do you think this allowed him to win his gold gloves and silver sluggers? Come on!

The Hall of Fame contains some people with questionable character: drunks, wife-beaters, racists. Is using steroids grounds for banning from the Hall of Fame? I don't think so. Lots of people, especially during McGwire's era, used controlled substances. The fact that he rose above all those proved that he still performed at a level beyond them. But, that isn't the point. The point is it wasn't proven he used them. People THINK he did because he refused to answer some questions about his past.

It's an atrocity that no-talent, holier-than-thou WRITERS (not players...Tony Gwynn himself stated that McGwire should be in there) can decide the fate of such a great man. To make it worse, many comments I've seen state that they're glad that McGwire wasn't voted in. Will Barry Bonds, one of the best players of all-time, be refused admission because he bulked up so fast? Or because he's an asshole to the press?

People need to grow up, take themselves less seriously and recognize that accomplishments are accomplishments. If you're going to start voting people out of "the club" because of questionable character or possible errors in judgement, then don't judge them by their stats at all.

By stats alone, McGwire should be in there. When you add to the fact how he carried himself and what he did with baseball, he should be on the top of the list.

Go to Hell, BWA. Let the players vote on who should be included.